The Great Escape
by Pim Mark
Summary: What happens when someone decides to take advantage of Rincewind's greatest weakness (and strength)? What can Rincewind do to control the Spell, and what will he do when confronted with the dilemma to save the world, or to save himself? Please R&R. :)
1. Chapter One

The Great Escape  
  
Chapter One  
  
Rincewind opened one eye after the other and looked around. What he thought to be his bedroom in one of the top floors in Unseen University, was, in fact, a room much smaller than he remembered since last night of drinking. It was three by five meters wide, and the ceiling was apparently ten meters above his head. The room had very little light in it and it seemed a bit ominous. Instead of his beloved bed (which he won at the world's-worst wizard on one of those silly game-shows) he found himself sitting on an ellipse-shaped sofa, with bizarre-looking yellow dragons painted all over the mattress. His eyes landed on the window, with its curtains carelessly folded.  
'Perhaps my host kindly made sure that I get a nice good sleep' pondered Rincewind. Now he wondered about his doings last night, while trying to stand up, tumbling back to the sofa after a light dizziness, repeating the process a couple of times till his head and body surrounded to his mind. 'I didn't do anything out of the ordinary' he assured himself. 'Though I do remember something about flying dragons of some sort.' He scratched his beard for some more reminisces.  
He finally reached the window at the far end of the room, with the hope he'll better understand where he is, what happened to him, or even on what time of day his Consciousness decided to wake him up after a courageous battle with Alcohol the Brave. To his Surprise and Bewilderment (which popped up in his self almost every week in the past few years, sadly), the view from behind the glass window was a dull sight of a redbrick wall.   
'Oh I know what happened,' he talked to himself, 'I was strolling along from the pub, when a nice-looking man suggested I'll spend the night at his house, so I won't have to walk all the way home. Hmmm' his face lightened. 'Darn it,' his face stiffened, 'he'll probably want me to pay him for this hospitality!' Rincewind became upset by his stupidity that once again proved itself strongly while being drunk. 'This is the last time I'm going without my good old, trustworthy monk-' a mental paw hit his head, 'orangutan.' By this, he meant, of course to the head librarian, his drinking-buddy.  
After this, he quickly turned to the door, only to find it was locked. 'Now, this is strange. Why would he lock the door?' said Rincewind with an anxious smile. He returned his gaze to the empty dim room. 'Probably went to the market,' he relaxed himself, 'and wanted to me wait here, so that I could pay him.'   
For those of you who know Rincewind, this last notion should sound a bit strange for our failed wizard. For this was, as he will understand before long, an unlikely and truly unrealistically optimistic thought.   
Only then did he notice the figure sitting on the rocking chair at the shadowy corner. 


	2. Chapter Two

Chapter Two  
  
One week before that, a strange looking man entered Unseen University. Sal, the university's guard, was flipping through his current novel, when he noticed the man's black robe, black boots and, most of all, his black hood. Sal wasn't very fond of the students of UU, but from what he heard, Death looked a lot like the man approaching him. He began to nervous a bit.  
'Good afternoon, sir' said the man in black. His voice didn't sound very much like Death's voice which had been described. His voice was very high-pitched.  
Maybe Death wore his tight underwear this morning, thought Sal. He began to think of what could be the reason for his early passing. After all, he was only in his three-hundreds, not very old for a troll. He kept his Candy-Rock to a minimum.  
'Splendid afternoon, to you to, sir.' answered Sal, he sure hoped this wasn't going to be too painful.  
'Maybe you could help me, my good lad,' said the tall man. 'I'm looking for a Sal. Do you happen to know where he is?' his voice sounded like fingers on a blackboard, although his intonation gave his words a friendly touch to it. If it's not Death himself, probably, one of his servants came to claim his soul.  
'Oh dear,' said Sal, 'it's my time, isn't it?'  
'What?' said the man, he looked puzzled now.  
'This is the end for me, the Great Exit?' said Sal, he was depressed. He didn't even get to say good-by to his wife and children.   
'I think you don't understand. You are Sal, aren't you?' asked the man.  
'Yes, yes, that's me' said Sal. Then he said, almost as if he was talking to a big audience 'Fare well, oh good world. I enjoyed my share of it, and I sure will miss it when I'm way up there', then he turned his eyes to the black-hooded man. 'I am going up, right?'  
'Hmmm, sure, why not?' said the man.  
And with a low bow, Sal announced 'I'm ready, you could take me now.'  
The man looked at Sal with a puzzled look, then he looked both sides to make sure no one was witnessing. He took a white wand out of his robe, raised it and said some words Sal didn't quite understand.  
Two things happened then. First, Sal felt the air transform, it was getting colder and somehow thicker. The surrounding began to change rapidly, colors switching from green to red to yellow and finally a greenish purple. The word "Octarine" popped in Sal's mind.   
Second, Sal suddenly realized that Death and his servants were only visible to wizards, and he was certainly no wizard. 


End file.
